Life's New Path

I've come to appreciate life, and things are finally looking brighter. I came to such a down point and I came close to finally just giving everything up. I love myself above anyone, and finally I am able to see how that feels again...it's so amazing. I do miss her, I still lover her but it's a chapter I think I won't turn back to. She's probably doing better off anyway, I was suffocating and controlling.

On a better note, I FINALLY GOT THE MACBOOK and I'm using it as we speak.

2.4 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo
250 Gigs Harddrive 5400rpm
2 Gigs ram (kicked up to 4 Gigs for all the image processing I plan to do)

It's beautiful, and yes I'm a geek but I must admit I am windows turned mac.

Have fun everyone, life should be easy.

My Apologies

My recent activity was all a misunderstanding, I thought Lilian was bad mouthing me all over the internet (which she did on one occasion) but it wasn't as exaggerated as I thought. I was just attempting to clear my name, and yes I had to get into detail because she made it seem as though she was doing the same with her friends. In the end we are both to blame and she still is cold about it. She's leaving for reasons that were actually caused by her and I personally find that completely ridiculous. I lost a lot of my life backing her up and she explains that was the mistake, and it actually was. I shouldn't have gave up my work and study simply to satisfy her need for companionship but is it justifiable that I end up with the broken heart?

I'm sorry to her about releasing my previous statements, and since our last conversation I have deleted all traces of my immediate retaliation. She didn't cheat, her friend simply lied to me out of anger. I guess all I can do is shape up and move on, she did lose a great deal and with time she might realize but I can't take her back in her current state and form. She needs to realize what a relationship actually is, not just a partnership based on financial support and promises of good lifestyle. I'm down in a rut and I can't deny that but I am here because I lost focus on major aspects of my life to put her on a pedestal, I can't regret that because it was all in good mind.

Again my apologizes, and to you may you find what you are looking for...I'm sure we aren't going to get back together and I'm sure you will change your mindset for the next man but never again for me. Adieu my love.

The Great Escape

Sorry for the lapse in postin...I spent the weekend with my love, Lilian, down in Maryland. Right now I'm trying to work on some drawings, concepts, and tributes. Hopefully I can figure out how to make some photoshop tutorials, it would be different because I learned how to use it on my own...so my methods may be unconventional but helpful.

I'm trying to figure out Illustrator and Fruity Loops right now (yes I am packaged with musical talent too..lucky Lilian) I'll post whatever I create with that its just that sometimes I rather pick up my wacom and just paint in PS CS3 because i don't see all the hype and potential of Illustrator. It's a trend that I can imagine fading, the huge plus side of it is simply the expansion and contraction without image loss...but I'm not designing billboards just yet.

Note: stop over to my baby's blog for the amazing time we had in Washington D.C.

the definition

In case you were wondering, I decided I inform all of you what the name of the site actually means. Inari is a Shinto god, wiki described as "the Japanese kami of fertility, rice, agriculture, foxes, industry, and worldly success." Worldly success is what I was hoping for, even though I may not be Japanese or a practitioner of the Shinto religion. Kitsunes are Inari's pure white foxes, her private messengers.


You can interpret the name of the site as the God and the messenger, everyone has a gifted talent given to them by God I am merely the messenger trying to deliver it to an audience.

I was planning on explaining what I use in my art but since I don't have anything to show it's something that can be put off to a later time...I'm seriously tired.

If you want to implore deeper into Shinto or any other religions you should head over to Pantheon, its a huge database of articles on various mythologies and religions.

The Merchant House

iFlickr
Originally uploaded by jafeam

I actually made it to that class trip to the Merchant's House this morning. There was a complication with the transportation there, basically there was a mix up and I ended up taking the PATH while everyone had a nice and cool class bus ride. On my way there I stopped to take pictures for Lilian, so I could show her places I want to take her.

She just started her own blog, looks real nice...if anyone is reading this, click her name for the link and look forward to some nice content. Apparently she just had to make her own blog after seeing I went and launched mine, in the few hours she had to herself I must say its real frickin' nice. The name is just outstanding, Eden and Hades...wish I had thought of that.

The blog has now been changed to inari and kitsune, to better reflect my baby's blog and drop the ever-so-corny "designs" out of the name. Enjoy and look forward to some more pictures of the trip.







I just threw the last one in for the "awwww" factor.

the "other" girl in my life

iFlickr
Originally uploaded by jafeam

Here's my niece Suriya, excuse her demeanor...she's a sassy model. I couldn't help but post this picture of her giving me an attitude.